If the shoe fits....

My family is weird about shoes. Every one of us has a certain "shoe thing". I think it's like a requirement for being in our immediate family. Are other families like this? Maybe some, but I think most are not. Let's delve.
Shelby wears two pairs of shoes: one pair for church and one pair for everything else. He gets very attached to the pair for everything else. It becomes like an extension of his body, or at least a reliable friend. He will wear this pair for everything else for at least 5 years, even if they get worn out or holey(unless his wife intervenes...which she does at her own risk, or his mother intervenes-though there's no assurance he'll wear the pair she purchases for him). When he is eventually forced one way or the other to obtain a new pair, he is extremely picky about the kind of shoe he chooses. It has to be brown, a rounded-ish toe, and not too thick-soled. It has to be the kind of shoe that no Italian man would ever purchase. If the new shoe has laces, he will tie them...ONCE. That is all. He will slip that un-slip-on-able shoe on for the rest of it's little shoe life, whether it likes it or not. What happens to the old shoe? Don't worry, it's not forgotten. It is given a place of honor in our closet, where it will remain indefinitely. After all, they've been through so much together. You could say they're Sole-Mates. *Ba-dum ching!*
I love shoes. I love the way they look and I love the way great shoes make me look. Even when you are overweight, your feet can still look fabulous. I love heels, sneakers(yes, sneakers), clogs, mules, boots, crocks, flip-flops-everything! I love all the colors and styles. I ALWAYS want more shoes. Shelby has given me a 30 pair limit. If I get a new pair, I must get rid of an "old" pair. I respect this limit because I respect my husband and our closet space. Do I like the rule? No. But I respect it. I love you, sweetie!
Aria loves shoes the way I love shoes. She ALWAYS wants more. Before she leaves the house she picks a pair and has done it for a reason. If you want to try to talk her into another pair, be prepared for a death match. She might win, so best to plan for your funeral now. She also has no idea which shoe goes on which foot, so when you point out to her that they're on the wrong feet, she replies, with sassy hand-on-hip action, "I like it that way." Don't try to convince her otherwise. It's a losing battle. She also happens to be an ace at convincing people to buy her shoes...the more expensive the better. "But I don't HAVE that pair yet. All I have are my OLD sneakers and I think they don't fit anymore." (The old sneakers are the ones you bought her last week). "And I don't have ANY shoes with such pretty sparkles, Grandma!" Try to point out another pair that doesn't cost $35? "Mmmm...no I just LOVE these ones, Grandma!"--cue coy smile and fluttery lashes. Cha-ching. I think she needs a 30-pair limit too.
Skyler is much like his father, except he doesn't care what he wears as long as they have plenty of toe room and go on quickly. He also does the "slip-on" method with his lace-ups, only he's devised a new fashion which I'm sure will catch on with first-graders nationwide. He has perfected the granny knot trail. He tied the granny knot repeatedly until he ran out of laces with which to tie more knots, resulting in one long granny knot trail on each shoe. I tried to undo them, but he fought me on it. I think he's taking lessons from someone local.
Xander loves shoes. He's not even partial to his own shoes, he just loves the whole idea of shoes. He will wear his shoes-or yours- wherever and whenever he can; and does it with flair. He's got a shoe walk. When he wears shoes, he walks the way a bow-legged clown with big red shoes would walk, but faster and with more bounce. He runs the same way. "Shoe" is one of his words, and he says it proudly when he presents you with one of your shoes he's found. Even if you are wearing a pair already, he expects you to be thrilled with his gift. Ideally, you should put the new shoe on. This gets the biggest grin and that cute "hug my own tummy" thing he does. Let's face it-we want him to do this as often as possible.
I'm not saying the "shoe things" are the weirdest things about us (I know, I know). I'm just saying it's weird and I've noticed it. And at this point, I'm a little "tongue"-tied. *Ba-dum ching!*