Ariaism

This is Shelby, doing a little guest blogging today to tell you a story that could only have come from my family.

Two nights ago we were in the front yard carving pumpkins. The kids found the process of cleaning pumpkin goo out with their bare hands fairly unpleasant and soon found other ways to entertain themselves while Annie and I finished the job.

Before long, Skyler and Aria were climbing into the lower branches of an ugly juniper tree near the corner of the house. Skyler was the first to reach the top part of the tree, about 15 feet from the ground. Aria joined him a moment later and yelled out:

Aria:"Hey daddy, I can see the roof from here."

Daddy:"Cool, honey!"

Aria:"Can I get on it?"

Daddy:"I don't think so. That would be dangerous."

Aria (pouting):"But I wanted to get on there and play a violin!"

After a moment of confusion it hit me, and I was so proud to have a theater nerd for a daughter. If you got the reference instantly, I'm glad to have you in the family too.

Warning! This is about poop.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Xander made a poop on the potty!!
He was standing next to the potty the other day, looking at it and grunting, so Shelby asked if he wanted to try using the big boy potty.

X:"Ess."

So, Shelby stripped him down and sat him on the potty. After making a few toots, and with a crowd gathered to cheer him on, he had success! First time, first try. Way to go buddy!

Ariaism

Randomly as we were driving home:

Aria:"Mom, if a ball was mad at you, it would piss at you."

What?!

So I was eating sandwiches and cottage cheese with the kiddos the other day and was struck by just how much I adore them. So, I commented, "I just love you guys SO stinkin' much!"

Skyler:"Yeah, you would never let anyone kidnap us."

Aria:"Yeah! Or kill us! Or put us in jail!"

Proof of omentum momentum

Remember the omentum momentum post a few weeks ago? Well, I've got proof. A while ago, Skyler was asked in school to draw a picture of his family. Guess which one is me! Yup. That's me. The second-tallest adult. The one with the enormous stomach...and the boy haircut. I am HOT! Also, I levitate, which is very hard to do with all the extra weight. Take that! I am AWESOME!

Ring Ding Dong

There has been a little debate going on in our family about which is better: Ding Dongs, the popular chocolate, creme-filled cake snack sold by Hostess here in the Mountain West; or Ring Dings, the popular chocolate, creme-filled cake snack sold by Drakes in New England. Both are comparable in weight and ingredients, and both are owned by the same parent company. Both, in my opinion, are yummy and worthy of late-night snackage.

For the record, Shelby has argued with my mom for years about this topic. He argued that they were both owned by the same nation-wide company and were therefore pretty much the same. Mostly he wanted her to stop griping about how Ring Dings were SO much better.

We decided to settle this once and for all by conducting a blind taste-test in our very own kitchen/lab. Here's how it all went down:

Skyler was very methodical, but quick. He voted with a preference for the Ding Dongs. 1:0
Aria took her vote very seriously. She nibbled one, had a sip of milk, nibbled the other and repeated several times. After deliberating audibly with her, "Hmm....s" and "Uhmm.....s" she confidently declared her allegiance to Ring Dings. 1:1Xander opted to ditch the blindfold and happily gorged himself on both. He seemed impartial. We assumed he voted both. 2:2Now the big tests. I tried the first, then the second. With a tinge of guilt I began apologizing to Shelby. "I'm sorry honey. Maybe it's because it's what I grew up with, but for whatever reason I just like the second one better. It's just a little bit creamier and...What?" I tore off the blindfold and saw Shelby laughing. I had voted for the Ding Dong! I shamed my mother...but I honestly don't care. Ding Dongs are WAY YUM! 3:2Finally, with his reputation on the line, Shelby stepped up to the plate. He tasted one. He took a drink. He tasted the other. His discerning palate at work, Shelby knew there was a lot riding on this test and final vote. And...he unwittingly voted for the Ring Ding! 3:3 We all had a good laugh at the strange reversal in which eight years worth of arguments over these silly snacks were suddenly turned on their heads.
Ah, the irony is rich. 330 calories and 17 fat grams, to be exact.

Little known fact: job security

Recently, Shelby promised one cent for every dandelion the kids picked from our yard. Skyler and Aria happily bring us bundles every few days. Strangely, there have been several sightings lately of a certain blonde girl literally planting dandelion seeds in our front yard...apparently assuring income for the future. You've got to hand it to her, for a 4-yr old, she has great financial acumen.

Skylerism, the latest on his love life.

One of the great things about Skyler attending the school where Shelby works is that Shelby can keep a finger on the pulse of his life at school. Today, Shelby overheard Skyler talking to his sweetheart in the lunch line:

S:"Don't forget your milk. It has calcium which builds strong bones! And you need that. You have little bones."

Seriously?

Today, Aria and I were spending some quality time laying on my bed and watching one of her favorite shows, Max and Ruby. Without warning, Aria looks at me, literally lifts her right leg a foot off the bed and makes the longest, loudest toot ever. I just looked back at her.

Nonchalantly, she said, "Mom? Did you make a toot?"
M:"Um...No!"
A: "Yes, Momma. You did."

My favorite thing I heard yesterday

Yesterday I had the awesome privilege of attending a multi-stake fireside for the youth and their leaders. Sister Elaine Dalton, Young Women General President was the keynote speaker. She was so awesome! As part of her talk, she invited a few young men up to the pulpit and asked them individually what priesthood they held. She happened to ask the youngest one first and he replied,

"I'm a deacon and I hold the ironic priesthood."

First snow, Winter...uh, Fall 2008

Sunday morning we all woke up to a Winter wonderland..in the early Fall! After church, we let the kids enjoy it:)

Daddy was thrilled to take the 1/2 hour to help them all get dressed.
It was perfect snowman snow. The kiddos are standing behind their "self" snowmen.
The whole snowman family. See the Halloween ghost decorations hanging behind them (Courtesy of Shelby).
Skyler said, "I can't believe it! I love the snow just as much as video games!" He's also big into tasting the "delicious" snow....
Aria insisted on wearing this too-small hat because it was the only one with a pom pom on top. She also insisted on wearing gloves that were not wet-proof because they were "prettier." She later insisted on wearing my gloves....
Xander didn't remember snow from last year, so he was pretty excited. He wanted his mittens off so he could make little snow balls and squish them until they broke. He got a real kick out of it and kept repeating, "Snow! Snow!"
Who doesn't want yummy hot chocolate with marshmallow fluff after an afternoon out in the snow?!

Not a bad way to start the season, even if it's early!

Ariaism

Over dinner tonight:

Skyler: "Yum, this Cherry 7Up tastes like cherries!"
Aria: "No it doesn't. It tastes like 7."

I went to college for this?

I have a degree in Audiology/Speech-Language Pathology. Now, I know most people don't work in the same field in which they earned a degree, but this is ridiculous. I've become a professional "Momma Slide."

Skyler: "Keep your arms in the ride. Don't stand up, and a have a great day on the Momma Slide!"

No, really. He actually said that. That's the kind of professional atmosphere I bring to the Momma Sliding experience.

Ariaism

I had just removed a contact that was bothering me and was taking it to clean in the bathroom. I walked by Aria.
A:"What is that?"
M:"My contact."
A: "Ooo, stick it in my eye!"

Skylerism

Over lunch:
S:"Mom, do you know why yogurt is so healthy for you?"
M:" Why, bud?"
S: "Because it has a kind of bacteria in it that makes a good germ that helps your body memorize food."
M:"Memorize food? Oh, do you mean metabolize?"
S:"Oh, yeah, metabolize."

For the record, my body doesn't metabolize food. It memorizes it and asks for more. I knew yogurt was the culprit!

Chuck E. Cheese

My mom took the kids and I to Chuck E. Cheese's the other week. Thanks, Mom! You're awesome! Shelby "had to work." Actually, he really did. We missed you, love!


Xander does this move with his hands very enthusiastically when he's trying hard to be patient. He's waiting for pizza.
And....got it!
Cruisin' the Chuck E. Cheese highway.Grandma's big win!
Momma's big win!
Enjoying the spoils.

I did it!

I did it! I did it all by myself! *collective gasp* I cut my son's hair without supervision; my mother was 3000 miles away. The hair is spiked up a little in this pic, but it lays flat very nicely. I actually think it turned out pretty good. He's been to school three days already and we've had no reports of swirlies. I think I'll try learning Mandarin next.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my dad's b-day. Happy birthday, Dad! Even though you are so old, I still love you. You're the best!

Skylerism

As mentioned earlier, there is a girl at school that Skyler has developed feelings for. Yesterday on the way home, the silence in the car was interrupted when Shelby heard this reflection:

S:"I just can't believe it. I can't believe that I've already fallen in love! Just only in the first grade!"


A side note: Any of you who know Shelby know that he is always teaching our children new and interesting words. Skyler was thrilled to learn and now will tell you that his love for this girl is a "fatuous love."

Comfort food

Okay, with this post, I might make a friend. More likely, everyone who once was my friend will leave me forever. I am willing to take that risk, trusting that my real friends will find it in their hearts to love me despite (or maybe because of) this post.

Everyone has certain foods which bring them comfort; ice cream, soups, chocolate of any kind. I share your love of these comfort foods. I also believe that some of us enjoy unconventional comfort foods. The kind of foods that other people would find repulsive, or at least uncomfortable.

I have one such comfort food that I like to make as soon as the weather gets cold. It is a food that my mother made me when I was little and a food that she ate as a child. It is passed down from my French-Canadian heritage (there go some of my friends already). It is called Gorton (pronounced Guh'-tohn). I am the only person in my immediate family who will eat it. I like to eat gorton for breakfast, lunch or dinner, or anytime my husband isn't home to smell it (when I smell like this, he is far less likely to kiss me. However, if he smelled like this, I would make out with him on the spot). I'll post the recipe in case you might want to try it. Do any of you have such uncommon comfort foods?

Gorton

1 lb ground turkey
1/2 cup skim milk
1/2 diced onion
1 cup warm water
3 slices white bread (diced or ground)
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper

Mix all ingredients in frying pan. Cook on low 1 hr, stirring often. Put in containers. Cool completely. Cover, refrigerate. May freeze.

My favorite way to eat this is to spread the cold gorton on hot toast and to generously drizzle with mustard. Yes, really. It's the BEST!

Classic Annieism

We had some good friends over the other night, up very late (or early) talking about babies. We had a great time, and I was reminded of this moment in history:


When I first had Skyler, I was very concerned that I would turn into a brainless thing that just changed diapers and did laundry (and dishes, and housework....). I had just graduated from college and was used to critical thinking and generally having my mind engaged. Fearing what I might become, I decided that whenever I was nursing (which was very frequently) I would watch the news, so that I would still be learning and would also have something to discuss with Shelby after a full day of being home with a cute, but decidedly non-talking person.

Shelby came home and I was watching CNN on the couch while Skyler nursed. "What are you up to?" he said.

I simply replied, "I wanted to keep abreast of current events."

Ariaism

I was watching the Saturday Afternoon session of General Conference for which the Primary kids were singing. I thought my kids would find that cool, so I called them in to see. Skyler and Aria came running in, jumped up on the bed, and sat down to watch.
S: "Wow, Mom! That is so neat that they are really doing that! I can't believe my eyes!"

A: "Yeah! Makes me wanna DANCE!!! (she stands on the bed and twists it sixties Mod style. Think Austin Powers).

So weirdly normal here.

Little known fact

I was having a phone conversation with my friend the other week and she said, "Sorry, I've got to go. My baby is grunting. She grunts every time she makes a poop." Without thinking I replied, "Really? Xander always sings when he makes a poop. It's usually Frere' Jacques." I didn't mean for it to be funny. It's just the honest-to-goodness truth.

Who do you think I am??

Ok, so I've not blogged in a few days and I kid you not, at least 4 of you have accused me of not blogging based on my recent indulgence in the Twilight series. Who do you think I am?? I thought we were friends and that you knew me better than that! Just because I only have 30 pages left in my book and I can tell you the sentence I'm on, doesn't mean I'm neglecting my blogging because I like my book. :)
Actually, the honest-to-goodness truth is that the power cord on our laptop decided that it was done performing its thankless job. I was fiddling with its fits-y self, trying to align it just right with the stars, when it kissed me goodbye. It was literally a shocking experience (I have the little black spot on my index finger to prove it). That was the last of its working days. Shelby saw it coming and had already ordered a new one, but it's not due until Wednesday or Thursday.
You are probably asking yourself, "Yeah, but how is she blogging now?" You all are awfully interested in me. I actually have a computer downstairs in the family room. It's very difficult to escape down to this corner of the house with the kids around. But today, Xander is napping, Aria's at a play date and Skyler is in school. I'm FREE!!! :) So, I will use this time to empty the "To Blog" folder in my brain (I'll have to do pics later...they're on the inaccessible computer), enjoy a little peace and quiet, and then I'll finish my book.

I've succumbed to social pressures

I did it. I finally gave in. I started reading the first Twilight book. I'm only on page 55, but I can't wait until I get another chance to read. "Why aren't you reading now instead of blogging?" You might ask. "Because." I might say. "Because Shelby lovingly offered to make dinner so I can blog, which I love slightly more than reading my yummy book. Mind your own business!"
I swore I wouldn't read it for two reasons. One: because everyone and their literate dogs are reading the book. And two: because Shelby has somewhat of a justified negative opinion of the cultural impact the book as developed, which I respect.
Regardless, my sister and sister-in-law have both expressed love for the series and I was in a literary lurch. My will waned and I decided to succumb. My sincere and public apologies to Shelby. I do, however, promise not to talk about it (often) or blog about it (much). Just know that while I'm not expressing my thoughts and feelings about it, I am secretly very much enjoying my tread in the cultural current.

Dang it!

I got hit with it. Doh! Fortunately, it seems I don't have it as badly as the boys do/did. Blah! Hold on Aria!!!! You're the only survivor!!!