My mother is horrified

K, so since Shelby had his sinus surgery, I've been doing things I've never done before. To my credit(hey, it's my blog) I do lots of gross and/or tedious things on a regular basis: do dishes, clean out shower and sink drains, do laundry, change totally nasty diapers, do dishes, wipe boogers, do laundry, clean mysterious substances under the kitchen table, laundry, dishes, laundry. Also dishes.

There are, however, some things that I just have never had to do or, to be honest, have avoided doing hoping that someone else will just do it. Shelby is usually my someone else, but since he's been out of commission, I've had to be my own someone else. I know. It's so sad to think about.
But what could I do? The vacuum bag wasn't going to change itself and the house needed to be vacuumed...badly. I think you hear what I'm saying. I've never changed a vacuum bag in my entire life. Never. What?! I've been busy! Plus, it's gross.

Anyway, I surprised even myself. I can do it! My new talents also include putting up the Christmas tree and supervising the decorating of said tree by myself, hanging up the outside Christmas lights and changing the humidifier water. I'm a regular Maverick. I've been pumping my own gas for years. Brushing my own teeth for longer. I know. Kind of amazing.

Ariaism

Because Shelby is still recovering from sinus surgery, I was out putting up the Christmas lights for the first time ever. Aria came out and watched me from below.

She looked up quizzically:"Mama, does it look like a crap yet?"

M:"What? What did you say?!"

A:"Does it look like a crap yet?"

M:"Aria! Why would you say something like that to me?"

A:"Daddy said it would look like a crap. Does it look like one yet?"


M:"Mommy needs to go have a word with Daddy."


(For the record, Shelby vehemently denied saying any such thing....hmm.)

Ariaism/Xanderism

Today Skyler and Aria were out playing on the tree swing, when Aria did not get as long a turn as she wanted.

Aria, huffing and yelling:"FINE!! I'm going to run away to AMERICA!!!"

Skyler, calling after her:"Aria! You're already IN America!!"

Aria:"Really? Oh....well FINE! I'm going to run away to SALT LAKE!"

Xander, waving:"Bye!! Bye, Aria!!"

Ariaism

Aria is sitting in time out...again.

M:"You'd better be careful, Aria. Santa's watching.

A:"I wish he wouldn't. "

Ariaism

A:"Momma! I have a tummy ache to go with my sore throat. I guess I'm just a little sicko."

Skylerism

Skyler and Aria recently had the great privilege of attending a local production of Peter Pan with their Grandpa Ferrin. He generously took both of them to the brunch beforehand and then the show (they were pretty impressed with the "Director Reserved: Ferrin" signs on their seats--it pays to go to shows with the "in" crowd).

After watching hours of Captain Hook terrorize the good guys, they saw him thrown overboard his own ship where he had to sort out his fate with that ticking crocodile he so hated.


Skyler, who watched silently, but intently, finally leaned over to grandpa and whispered,"Well, it's like I always say; what goes around, comes around."

Aria and Ruby, free fallin'

Attention people: the name and images of Aria's little friend used within this blog post are done so with permission from the minor's mother.

Aria's best friend Ruby is one of the coolest kids I know. Maybe it's because of her absolute devotion to wearing either a skirt or a dress every day. Maybe it's her adorable glasses. Maybe it's because every word that comes out of her mouth reminds me of something Aria might say. Maybe it's because she's polite, smart, and funny. I'm sure, however that it is mostly because she is such an awesome friend to Aria. If given the opportunity, these two would spend the whole day together (and have on a few occasions) and would never tire of it. As it is, when everyone is healthy and home, they play almost every day for at least a couple of hours. I LOVE it and I LOVE her!!

Here are a few photos of the two sillies jumping in our giant leaf pile: (check out Aria's pose in the first pic).

Since we're posting about Aria and Ruby....

The two cuties climbing our crab apple tree in the backyard:

Kinda like the PC ads?

This was the day the kids decided that their laundry bins could magically transform them into computers:

Ariaism

This morning over breakfast, Skyler was informing us on the poll results of a recent survey conducted in his first grade classroom.

S:"Well, in the class, I voted for turkey, but mashed potatoes won."

M:"Oh! Was it a survey about Thanksgiving foods you like?"

S:"Yes. You had to choose what was your favorite Thanksgiving food and your choices were turkey, pumpkin pie, and mashed potatoes and because my teacher voted for mashed potatoes it made 10 and so mashed potatoes won on the graph."

M:"Aw, man! Sounds like a fun survey though!"

A:"Uhm, Skyler? How much kids like chicken patties?"

Ouch!

At recess last Thursday, Skyler was plowed over by an overenthusiastic, oblivious running classmate. He unfortunately landed head-first on the black top and received the most enormous goose-egg you've ever seen. Trust me. I really think you've never seen one this big. None of the teachers or staff at the school had ever seen one this big either. The pic doesn't do it justice, I assure you. It literally stuck out about 2 full inches from his head.
The good news is that the swelling is way down and he remained coherent. The bad news is that he had to get it in the first place, and also that the bruising is pretty unbelievable. We're just grateful that it wasn't worse. Head injuries are scary!!
Oh! Also, that thing on his head is the cold corn bag I sewed at the Super Saturday activity! Sew handy!! I must admit I'm surprised it works.

Skylerism

Anyone who's been around my children lately will have noticed that they've been a bit cranky. For those of you who know Aria, this will come as no surprise, but for Skyler it's a little shocking and quite disconcerting. This happened on the ride home yesterday:

Aria:"Mom, you're a stinkermama!"

M:"What?! I am not! Why would you say that, Aria?"

S:"Um, I'm thinking of a word that I think maybe Aria's thinking of and that word is "Youdeservedit."

Olive Garden

I've come to the conclusion that the Olive Garden is the only restaurant on earth where the people dining there are really as happy as they appear to be on the commercials. I know that I honestly look that happy when I eat there. You should take me there and see.

Red Robin? Applebees? The people look WAY to happy to be where they are. Send those people to Olive Garden! It's where they belong.

I dare say that the only other commercial that has it right is maybe Chuck E. Cheese, but that doesn't count because all those people are

1. Children

and let's face it,

2. Happy for reasons other than food. You know it's true.

So, thank you, Olive Garden commercial makers. You are the diamond of truth in the rough sea of misleading restaurant advertisements.

And thank you Olive Garden chefs, for pasta fagioli soup, chicken alfredo, and extra dipping sauce for my extra yummy breadsticks. I love you.

Creating warmth..kind of

I decided to pick up my crocheting again. Maybe it's because I've been feeling cocky with my recent sewing success (see "Sew what") and haven't been able to get my hands on my still-in-storage sewing machine. Maybe it's because I'm quite certain that once I do get my hands on it, I'll have no idea what to do next. Better stick with something you know, right? While you're trying to figure out what to do about what you don't know. And I know crocheting....kind of.

Sew (HA HA!), I brought my little Sterilite bin of all things yarn-y upstairs so that I may crochet while watching my favorite shows. I've decided that I will make a scarf. I've never made one before, so we'll see how this goes.

A little history: In the past I have crocheted (that word looks dirty) dish cloths, which have come out wonderfully when I am consistent with my crochet count, and when I use absorbant yarn. I have even dared give these as gifts...mostly to my mother...who swears she loves them. I choose to believe her.

I have also crocheted a couple of blankets, standard double crochet. I gave one to my son Skyler when he was born and he loves it. I actually believe him. The other "blanket" was given to my sister as a Christmas gift. Let's just say she was gypped that year. There is still debate to this day, 7 years later, about what the "blanket" was intended to be. Some say a doll's cape. Some say a very very small, misshapen lap throw. She keeps it as a conversation piece...and for no other reason. I promise you. (A couple of years ago, I told my mom I was making her a Christmas gift and she very noticeably cringed...and asked me not to).

So, I've decided to start on my scarf, paying attention to my crochet count and how tightly I pull my yarn. I've done about 6 rows on a 25 count (excepting 2 rows which ended up being 26...math has never been my strong point) and I think it will turn out well. You all had better be cheering me on because maybe I'll decide that this is your year to receive a little homemade love.

Xanderism

Today I took Aria to her dance class at the city rec building. I was holding Xander and as we waited for the elevator, he spotted an elderly gentleman who looked like a war veteran; you know, wheel chair, black ball cap, oxygen tank, a long, long white beard.

Xander, excited to show off his vocab, pointed and yelled,"Ho Ho HO! Ho Ho HO!"

Yeah, the elevator could not come fast enough. :)

Ariaism

I can't believe I forgot this one!



After Aria and I finished voting, I promised her we could go get a free "voting donut" from Krispy Kreme. On the way, however, we had to stop and make a deposit at the credit union.

A: "Momma, where are we going? I thought we were gonna get a donut."

M: "I'm sorry, honey, we are going to get a donut, but first we have to stop at the credit union so I can make a deposit."

A: "But I wanted a donut!"

M: "You'll get a donut...and if you don't complain while we're here you can also have a sucker."

A: " What!? We voted for a sucker!?"

(And I thought to myself, you know, given the big ol' mess our president has to deal with, maybe we did. Too late! I respectfully say, 'Sorry, sucka!')

Xanderism

Our whole little family was driving to Layton yesterday and it was getting a little noisy (to say the least). Skyler and Aria were jib-jabbing back and forth...loudly and a bit argumentatively about which were the best video games and their strongest selling points. Picture this at the same time and in full volume:

S:"I love all the Mario games the best! They're way better than the ones you like to play because if you get to a certain level you can get a magic flute which lets you warp to another level like level eight which is one of the hardest levels you could ever play, but you'd better try to get extra protection by becoming raccoon Mario or something like that because if you get hurt by a Bullet Bill....

A:"No! I love Barbie Dress-ups! They're just the BEST and I like them better than the other games because you can change all their outfits and they have all different kinds of shoes and pretty dresses and you can even pick which earrings you want them to have or change their hair color and some have costumes with ballet clothes and....


Finally Shelby and I had had enough and Shelby yelled over the chaos,"That's IT!!! ENOUGH!! If you guys want to talk that's fine but you have to be QUIET and if I hear one more word about video games we are NOT going to the party."





Xander, sitting quietly: " m'AH RIO!"

Thithter Thuthy thittin' on a thithle

Hear ye, Hear ye! Skyler lost his first tooth!! Yay, Skyler!! Tonight we were at the high school watching Lend me a Tenor (isn't that just how it goes with our family?) when 5 minutes into the second act, Skyler leans over and whispers excitedly, "Mom! My tooth! My loose tooth came out!" He was so excited and there was fortunately no blood, so we were happy all around. :) What a cutie!! He kept showing everyone and wouldn't put it down (except when he accidentally dropped it in the HS hallway amongst 30 arts patrons all congratulating the actors...thank you for finding it, Jaron).

Before putting it under his pillow, he stroked it tenderly and whispered sentimentally, "Goodbye, my tooth."

Xanderism

Xander doesn't have many Xanderisms, chiefly because his vocabulary is somewhat limited...being only 22 months old and all. So, we take what we can get :)

Xander has recently been introduced to his favorite cereal of all time: Alphabits. When requesting these...

X:"E B's! E B's! E B eh' G's!"

Ariaism

Grandma Blais and I were at the mall yesterday with Aria and Xander. As is standard during this holiday season, Santa was seated in his wonderland throne. After much convincing and certainly being swayed by the fact that Santa had given Xander a candy cane, Aria decided to talk with him.

Later, she us what she had asked Santa to bring her. Suddenly she paused, then burst into sobs.

M:"Oh my gosh, honey, what's wrong?"

A:"I don't like what Santa said to me (heaving sob)!!"

M:"What? What did he say to you, sweetie?"

A:"(Heaving sob) He told me to pick up my toys and clean my room--Waahh haaaaaeh haaaaaaeh!!!"


I guess some of us just aren't willing to pay the price.

A good example to us all

Usually in the morning, the kids are up before we are, and they play downstairs in the playroom or family room while Daddy and I drag ourselves out of bed. I went down to join them and to convince Skyler to get dressed for school when I saw this:They were going for a morning run together on the Wii Fit. It was so cute, I had to snap a pic. They were both breathless and running, saying things like, "Come on Aria! I'm just around the corner!" "I think I lost my trainer!" They were hard-core!
After they stopped, they turned around and Aria, panting, said, "I was just exercising so I could be ready for dance class today." To which Skyler added, "And I was exercising so I could be ready for Handwriting."

It's a throne, right?

Occasionally, if it gets too quiet in the bathroom, I check to see what's going on. This is what I saw a couple days ago:
(She happens to be reading a Christmas toy catalog).

Celebrities

So, Michael McLean came to Aida tonight and caused quite a stir backstage. For those of you who don't know, he is a popular LDS songwriter. Anyway, while I have admiration for him and his success, I don't get very star-struck (besides David Archuletta...how cute is HE?), so I had time to think of other things backstage; namely other celebrities or people of note that have crossed my path. I've decided to make a list of them here for my own sake, mostly for remember-y purposes. Feel free to skip this post, or travel down memory lane with me-whichever you prefer. I'll be adding to this annoying list as my memory revives itself. It could take a very long time.

Real People Celebrities I've Met:
Jewel
Michael McLean
Ashley Simpson
Donny Osmond
Angie Larson
Norbert Leo Butz
Audra McDonald
Ivanka Trump
John Lithgow
Paul Zaloom from Beakman's World


Also, Soleil Moon Frye sent Shelby and me an anniversary card. How cool is that?

Never again

Today, I did not kill my daughter. Thank you, thank you. I am noticing that whenever I take Aria to Wal-Mart for any reason or for any length of time, she is a horror. I consider myself a fairly patient mother; loving, kind, good-looking, but I swear to you, I will never take her into that store again if I can help it. It does something to her, or to me, or both. It's hard to tell. Did you notice that last time I declared it no small miracle that I did not kill my daughter, it was also a day I took her to Wal-Mart? It is the truth. Maybe it's the constant asking for things...constant. Maybe it's the hanging all over the cart and using her foot as an emergency brake. Maybe it's the complete break-downs when I refuse to get her everything she wants. I'm sure it's a combination of many things, but I will not do it again. I am making a choice, for the betterment of our relationship, for my sanity, and to ensure that Aria will indeed live a long, happy life.

Skylerism

M:"Sweetie, did you read the note I left for you in your home lunch?"

S:"Uhm, no."

M:"What?! You didn't read it? Why not?"

S:"Well, I didn't know what it said! Hmmm...I guess that's how it always is before you read something."

M:"Yeah."

S:"Well, I guess I thought maybe it said that you hated me or something."

M:"What?! Skyler! It said that I loved you so much and I was thinking about you and hoping you were having a great day! I would NEVER say I hated you. I don't hate you, I LOVE you!"

S:"Oh, yeah. Or maybe I thought you were writing about Olivia (name has been changed to protect the innocent), and you know, she's my enemy.

M:"What?! Why would I write a note to you about Olivia?"

S:"I don't know, Mom. Why would you?!"

M:"What?! I DIDN'T!"

S:"Oh. Oh yeah."

Little known fact: it's gripping!

Xander is a fist eater. Not in the eat-your-fist way; you know the trick 11-yr-old boys show their friends to shock and amaze them? Not that way. He eats as much food as he needs to while sitting down, then stores the rest in his fist for later. Like he'll eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, leaving a big hunk hidden in his fist while he plays trains, colors, climbs the bunk beds, runs around the yard or swings on the playground. Then, several hours later, when you go to wash him up for dinner, he still has that hunk of sandwich locked tightly in his grip for a snack time that never came. You know, just in case. It's both gross and very impressive.

Ariaism

Today, I took my Aria and Alexander to the polls to witness democracy at work. I've spent the last few days explaining the presidential campaign to Aria and the importance and privilege of voting. She was SO excited to be able to stand next to me as I voted; I even let her push a few of the buttons for me(don't worry, it was supervised). She was being very good and quiet so I could concentrate, then I heard an excited squeal:

A:"Eee! I can't believe it! This is so exciting! Who is going to win to be the President, Momma?"

M:"I don't know yet, honey. We'll have to wait and see."

A: "Ooo! Maybe YOU!"


(Several hours later, she even said, "Momma. Did you win?" Hey. It could happen :)

Sew what?

Okay, for those of you out there who insist that I have no flaws or shortcomings (there are many of you-hold your applause) I feel it only ethical to let you in on a little secret. I don't sew. I know, I know. It's difficult to believe, but it is oh, so very true.

There are people who say, "Oh, I don't sew. Only, buttons and hemming my kids pants." Yeah. I don't do those things either. I also don't iron, but that's another story. I wish that I was awesome at sewing, but I'm afraid it's a little like when I played basketball; I might end up being good enough to pretend to be useful, but the truth is I'll never make a lay-up. Never.

I actually own a sewing machine. It was given to me 5 years ago by a friend who was moving. It apparently is in good working condition despite it age, a fact I'm sure I could verify should I ever use it. I must confess I'm very scared of it. Bobbins frighten me and produce the same visceral effect that math does; you know, the nervous laughter which turns quickly into hysterical crying? Yeah, it's not pretty.

I've kind of blamed it on my mother for years...and by 'kind of' I mean absolutely (sorry Mom). You know, because there are all those women whose mothers sewed and continue to sew, probably still working on the same enormous quilt made from the same baby clothing they sewed for their own children 30 years ago? Dang them. My mother could bake circles around them, and clean their houses in ways they could never imagine. But my mother does not sew...a fact I blame on her mother...which if you knew that story, you'd never blame me for saying it. I also have no pioneer heritage in the traditional sense, so I get no help there.

Why the fear though? Well, I made a pair of shorts and a bean bag frog in 7th grade Home-Ec. When I say 'I', I mean the Home-Ec teacher. The next time I sewed, it was in a college costume shop class. I am not joking when I say that the teacher sent me home because I was crying too loudly over my zipper-failures. Like heaving sobs and boogers. Yes, college. Needless to say, I don't have a good track record and I'm afraid.

I'm also afraid, however, now that I'm 28, I can no longer blame it on my mother. There comes a time when a girl has to take responsibility for her own lack of talent...especially now that I've been married to a man whose parents both can and do sew formals, wedding gowns, costumes, you name it.

Recently, in my quest to overcome my weaknesses and fight my demons, I signed up to make a heat/cold corn bag at a Super Saturday with my ward. I was VERY nervous. What if the corn bag required a zipper? What if there were bobbins involved? Fortunately, I had a VERY patient and understanding sewing mentor who talked to me in a very soothing voice and lulled me into completing the project. It was like sewing on Percocet. I have to say, it didn't even turn out half-bad and nobody got hurt.

So, now I still can't sew buttons or hem pants, but If you've got an achy neck or a goose egg on your head, I'm your girl. I'll work my way up to hemming.

Somethin' about our family I guess....

So yesterday I bought Alphabits cereal for my kiddos. I thought it was a great idea for Xander who loves to sing the alphabet and is just getting to identify some of the letters. It was also a great idea for Aria who is learning to read and who loves to spell out her name whenever she gets the chance. I thought Skyler would appreciate it simply because he loves to read. I never thought that he'd like it because he could do this:
I guess boys will be boys.

Ariaism

This morning I asked Aria for a kiss on the cheek, then another, then another. I kept at it and she obliged over and over. Finally she stopped and looked at me.

A:"Mom. You can't have everything you want."