Friday, September 12, 2008

Nothin' to see here, folks!

Yesterday, I did not kill my daughter. Neither did anyone else. Both are no small miracles. I dare say it was my biggest accomplishment yesterday(which is saying something because I'm kind of amazing-generally speaking). Why is she lucky to be alive? What could possibly drive a nice mom like me to have such feelings against an innocent 4 yr old girl? The answer is simple: she screams. All you moms and dads out there know exactly what I'm talking about(whispering about -I have a migraine).
Yesterday it seemed we argued about everything-I DON'T WANT TO EAT THAT!, NO I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WAL-MART!, BUY ME HANNAH MONTANA BAND-AIDS, LET ME TAKE OFF MY SHOES! DON'T PUT LOTION ON ME! I DON'T WANT THAT SONG! BUY ME BARBIE DIAMOND CASTLE- I'M BEING GOOD! AaaaaaaaaaaaaaEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! The neighborhood dogs all come running.
Yesterday, after I wouldn't let her have another treat, she sweetened the scream deal by throwing a magazine at my head. Which earned her a time-out. Which produced more screaming. Which earned her an extra minute. Which gave birth to more screaming. Which earned her an extra minute. Which led to more screaming and her banging her head against the time-out wall. Which earned her an extra minute and a spank threat....which finally(thank heavens)ended the screaming.
When I went to rehearsal, I thought I'd be done for the day. Not so. At 4 in the morning Aria comes into our bedroom announcing loudly that she can't find her blankie. I get up with her to find it (she's been sleeping in the boy's room-I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP LONELY!). Aria continues her search by using her outside voice. I JUST CAN'T FIND MY BLANKIE. DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS? And turning on the light...which produces more screaming, from Xander(why not delegate?). I quickly turn off the light and search for blankie in the dark. I find her(blankie's status has been upped-she is a person) on the floor next to the bed-she probably stepped on her on the way to my room. I finally get Xander and Aria back to sleep-which is good, because I am about to scream.
So she lives-for now.


Ashley and Kelland said...

Dear Annie-
Can I just say that I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments of staying murder-free for a while:)
I absolutely love your blog! It's adorable and your writing is so witty! I'll keep checking it!

Kathy said...

I have so had those days! Sadly, Aria is 2 years older than Kassie so I think I'm in for trouble...